I had a better time at that concert than I ever could if I just wore my hat. I started to make sure the people around me were safe, I let some shorter people stand in front of me so they could see better, and I started being a more positive person in the crowd. It is not my decision when I should be “on” or “off.” I really enjoyed making a Kiddush HaShem while wearing my kippa, and so I started thinking, “Why is this any different?” I went to the show with my kippa and I started making the most out of the concert. I wanted to give a good name to the Jewish people wherever I was. I then started thinking about why I started to be so passionate about my kippa in the first place. The value of inclusivity and encouragement of difference is exactly the reason I should wear my kippa. Pirkei Avot asks the question “Who is wise?” and the famous answer is “One who learns from all people.” Instead of living in my own head and my own ideas, I should take an important lesson from the people around me. We are all the same as in we are all there to listen to the music no matter who we are. Everyone I take to a show notices one thing: no matter how hard people dance, if someone falls down everyone stops and picks that person up and people carry on. The punk community is based on kindness, uniqueness, inclusivity and individuality. The post-hardcore/punk scene was born out of people who did not want to fit in and were proud of it. On the train down to Washington Square I started thinking about the show I was going to, the history of the genre and why I enjoyed wearing my kippa in the first place. I have come to know a prevalent theme in some of my circles where students will go out and try to not overtly wear Jewish identification. There was no shame involved, rather I felt as if I was outside the group. I did not want anyone to look at me and see someone different. What it really came down to was my desire to fit in and not stand out. I did not feel unsafe and I did not think these shows were in violation of halacha. I had a hard time coming up with the exact reasoning for my decision. While going to these concerts, I felt the urge to hide my kippa and just don a simple hat. When I started studying at YU, I took advantage of the music culture within New York City and started going to smaller concerts. I would spend an extra minute helping customers, be overly honest about payroll and time my breaks prudently so that the people around me would have an immensely positive experience with a religious Jew. During my time working in retail, I would go beyond what was expected of me in front of coworkers and customers. I define Kiddush HaShem as people seeing you do an act and in turn thinking highly of the Jewish people because of the act. I made it my mission to make a Kiddush HaShem through my work and helping my coworkers and customers. Last summer, while most of my friends were working in camps or shuls, I opted to work in retail to make an impact through the people that I helped. Over the past year, I have formulated a special relationship with my kippa. Usually, at smaller post-hardcore/punk shows, I would wear a hat in place of my head covering, but this time I found it difficult to bring myself to put on the hat once again. Traveling to a rock show in a smaller venue called Le Poisson Rouge, I was deciding whether I wanted to wear my kippa or not. As I took the A train from 181st Street to Washington Square on a Thursday night in March, I was faced with a decision.
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